Here’s how boosting social skills boosts self-esteem


In Psychology, what is known as social skills is part of the most important aspects to understand the behavior of people and their way of living and relating to others.

It is about the useful skills in social interactions that allow us to interact successfully with our peers and maintain healthy bonds in different areas of life. This has implications for the development of our identity and the maintenance of self-esteem.

Here we will see the way in which enhancing and improving the social skills we have at our disposal reinforces our self-esteem, and why this happens.

Why enhancing social skills reinforces self-esteem

Social skills are acquired in a normal way during the development of the person starting in the first years, although can continue to improve at any age, if properly trained. They do not totally depend on genetics, but it is possible to enrich them through experience.

This is positive, because some people need training in adulthood to learn various of these resources for socializing. AND as self-esteem is closely linked to the results we obtain when trying to relate to others, having or not having good social skills has a strong impact on it. Ultimately, our perception of ourselves is supported not only by what we believe about who we are, but also by what we believe others are thinking when they see and speak to us.

If you want to know which are the main social skills that decisively contribute to improving self-esteem levels, keep reading; here you will find them summarized.

1. Assertiveness

Assertiveness is one of the most important social skills to increase self-esteem, and consists of expressing, defending and asserting one’s own opinion where it should be expressed, while respecting at all times the opinions and approaches of the people who are at stake. Around us. That is to say, allows us to defend our ideas but without using them as a weapon to freely attack others.

This skill is key in increasing a person’s self-esteem, since it is based on the ability to successfully communicate with others in a respectful way but making it clear that we are not willing to accept any treatment, and that our individuality also deserves a respect.

2. Expression of empathy

The expression of empathy is another of the essential social skills to have healthy interpersonal relationships; this is measured by the ability of a person to put themselves in the place of the other and make it known, offering support to a greater or lesser extent where it is needed.

Maintaining a good empathy with our environment allows us to adapt to all the interpersonal relationships that we maintain during the day to day, and to be perceived as a person who can be counted on. This role of support figure helps to maintain a good level of self-esteem, by putting ourselves in situations in which we can be useful to those who need our help in an emotional sense.

3. Emotional validation

Emotional validation is the ability to understand and validate the emotions and feelings experienced by our interlocutor, without resorting to paternalism or disparagement of other people’s ways of thinking when they do not coincide with ours, for the simple fact of being part of the mentality of others.

It is one of the essential skills to achieve good harmony and communication with our interlocutor, thanks to which we will be positively perceived in the same way, which contributes to increasing our self-esteem. It should not be forgotten that although ideas can be criticized, people do not have to be because they hold them.

4. Persuasion

Knowing how to persuade others gives us the ability to mobilize people by appealing to what motivates them. It is not simply a matter of explaining the reasons why it is appropriate to carry out a certain action or make a certain decision, but to take into account the type of emotions and feelings connected with the reasons for and against doing what we want to convince others, and to use non-verbal language well.

Those who have a high capacity to persuade others see that their opinions are not systematically ignored, something that protects against self-esteem problems linked to frustration.

5. Correct verbal expression

The ability to communicate well through words is key to transmitting complex ideas and, of course, greatly facilitates interpersonal relationships, as well as teamwork.

It is, therefore, one of the main ingredients of leadership, and is closely linked to intelligence. All the positive consequences of having a good use of language have a positive impact on self-esteem and they give the opportunity to share our philosophy of life and our way of seeing things, something that arouses the interest of others and it allows us to be someone to turn to for advice, if we want to.

The ability to express oneself correctly denotes culture, communication skills, knowledge about different topics, correct vocalization and a good capacity for improvisation, key elements to increase the speaker’s self-esteem.

Do you want to improve your level of self-esteem?

If you are thinking of starting a psychotherapy process to overcome self-esteem problems, Get in touch with me. My name is Desirée Infante and I am a General Health Psychologist and I attend to people of all ages in person (in my office located in Malaga) and online.

Bibliographic references:

  • Coleman, WL (2008). Social competence and friendship formation in adolescents with attention-deficit / hyperactivity disorder. Adolesc Med State Art Rev, 19 (2): pp. 278-299.
  • Jordan, CH; Spencer, SJ; Zanna, MP; Hoshino-Browne, E .; Correll, J. (2003). Secure and defensive high self-esteem “(PDF). Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85 (5): pp. 969-978.
  • Orth U .; Robbins RW (2014). The development of self-esteem. Current Directions in Psychological Science. 23 (5): pp. 381-387.

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